This title combines the words “essential” and “insulting.”
You don’t have to tell me; I know I’m a wordsmith.
Amongst pedagogues, there’s a school of thought that suggests students learn languages better when they’re not constantly forced to repeat boring phrases. You know the kind of thing:
Teacher: How are you?
Student: I’m well, thank you. How are you?
Teacher: I’m fine.
That’s the kind of shit that rots your brain after a few repetitions, and students quickly lose interest – especially children and teenagers whose concentration span is low at the best of times, and non-existent when they’re being forced to say the same boring stuff again and again and again and aga-
Anyway, some thinkers believe that students are kept motivated and interested by being exposed to more colourful language – in effect, by being allowed to repeat crazy stuff like this:
Teacher: How’s it going?
Student: I’m sick of the sight of you. What’s going on with you?
Teacher: Teaching cretins like you makes my blood fizz.
For some reason, this approach isn’t favoured at the language school I work at, so I’m forced to stick to the conventional “Hello, how are you” greetings.
That might sound ridiculous, but the idea behind it is that students will remember grammatical structures and vocab much better if there’s something interesting about them. Sure, students taught in this way might not be able to speak to anyone without insulting them, but they’ll turn up to each class with joy in their hearts and dazzling language engraved in their brains.
With that in mind, I’ve compiled a nice sample dialogue for you to enjoy. It takes place between two friends; friend B wants to go for a coffee and friend A is a bit of a vůl. It’s short; it’s snappy; it gets right to the point. Never say I don’t put enough effort into lesson planning.
Kamarádka: Ježišmarjá, ty jsi tady.
Kamarád: Kečáš. Chceš na kávičku?
Kamarádka: Kéž bych mohla, ale vlastně nechci.
Here’s the translation.
Friend A: Jesus, it’s you.
Friend B: Stop chatting shit. Do you wanna grab a coffee?
Friend A: I wish I could, but I really don’t want to.
Anyway, the theory is that you’re way more likely to remember the na + acc. structure for events if you’ve been exposed to this kind of example. Of course, this doesn’t work if no one’s bothered to explain what that structure is and I absolutely will, right this minute!
So the thing you have to know about Czech is –
Oh, shit, that’s my bus! Sorry, gotta run.
(I’m not good at swearing in Czech so here are my sources:)